Films of 2009
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2008 left us with many great films, a majority of which came from the remake/comic book flicks, but this year seems to be the year or the big name sequels. With new films from Harry Potter to S. Darko (Donnie Darko sequel), there are only a few original films that seem like they will make a hit in the midst of Transformers, Angels & Demons and Terminator. Play This gives you the biggest names for 2009 and our predictions based off of media available for each film.
Big names and sequels
Ben Stiller
Night at the Museum 2
Battle of the Smithsonian is obviously the second part of Night at the Museum. A humors film geared towards kids, but had enough adult humor and cool SFX to get huge box office numbers. Everyone from the first film will return with the exception of Robin Williams (he sucks anyways).
Play This predicts: C+
Fast and Furious
Not much is needed to say about this film, aside from the old crew is back and the trailer does seem to be pretty bad ass. Tokyo Drift basically killed anything the series had going for it so hopefully Vin can repair this new film.
Play This predicts: B
Spy Hunter
Classic gamer fans can hopefully push back the poor memories of the Speed Racer film in replacement of this game turned movie. This James Bond style car/ bad ass theme still is up in the air. If history is any sign of this type of film though it will probably fail.
Play This predicts: C
Snake Eyes
G.I Joe is a bigger name in the US: the toy line that we called Action Man gave rise to a popular 1980s cartoon series and long-running comics franchise. Without the solid bed of nostalgia that will give it a running start in its homeland, the movie’s appeal over here stands or falls on its star director – Stephen Sommers from the enjoyably silly Mummy films – and stellar cast, including Christopher Eccleston and Sienna Miller as well as Sommers’s old Mummy pals Brendan Fraser and Arnold Vosloo. If August 2009 is as much of a washout as 2008’s, summer legions of staycationers will be flocking to cinemas looking for some easygoing escapism, and this might just be it.
Play This predicts: -B
S. Darko (no release date announced)
An unexpected sequel to 2001’s cracked out time loop Donnie Darko, which already has fans cult fans transitioning over from the first flick. Much like other cult films in the past, the hype created by the Darkites alone will bring in big numbers for the box office. We predicit this movie will be another piece of trash that requires you to get stoned to enjoy. You know a classic peice of cinamea when the only people you know enjoying the film say “yeah man just get fuckin baked and this movie will rock.”
Play This predicts: Epic Fail
Dorian Gray (November)
The classic Oscar Wilde fable retold by an impressive collection of British thespian eye-candy including Colin Firth and Emilia Fox. Long since forgotten, Gray, has only been reinstated into the public eye during League of Extraordinary Gentlemen(LEG). If the film is not written and acted upon like a half baked comic book like LEG, chances are this can be a modern version of a great classic.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Sherlock Holmes (November)
Some extraordinary casting distinguishes the umpteenth Holmes movie with Robert Downey Jr. as a tough, sword-flourishing Holmes and Jude Law as an even tougher, no-nonsense Watson in Guy Ritchie’s version of the ultimate sleuth. Based on Lionel Wigram’s comic book about the consulting detective rather than directly upon the old skool books. This star studded cast is sure to bring in large box office numbers, especially as Downey Jr. is on his second wind and not about to let off the gas.
Play This predicts: B
Ice Age 3
Playing fast and loose with the accepted chronology of the age of the dinosaurs this third instalment of the CGI school holiday favourite has the primitive mammal heroes of the first two films somehow getting mixed up with a ‘lost world’ of surviving dinosaurs trapped beneath a glacier. John Leguizamo, Queen Latifah, and Denis Leary provide voices for the computer created critters. Certain to both entertain undemanding under-fives and infuriate palaeontologists in equal measure, this has the air of being the last film in the series.
Play This predicts: C-
Nottingham (November)
Russell Crowe plays dual roles in this revision of the Robin Hood legend. If you can trust anyone, it’s a bona fide cinema genius like director Ridley Scott but Hood and Nottingham with the same face sounds like a recipe for chuckles rather than thrills.
Play This predicts: B+
2012 (July)
Master of disaster Roland Emmerich (The Day after Tomorrow, Godzilla, Independence Day) assembles an impressive cast including John Cusack, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover for an apocalyptic epic based on a 7th Century Mayan prophecy. Never one to do things by halves, Emmerich will apparently open the film with the end of the world as we know it and let things escalate from there.
Play This predicts: B
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (no release date announced)
A Terry Gilliam film is always something of a curiosity: ploughing his own off-kilter furrow away from the calcified strictures of Hollywood cliché, he has made films that, while differing wildly in subject matter (Brazil, The Fisher King, Baron Munchausen), share a distinctively baroque surrealism. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus is a curiosity even among Gilliam films, containing as it does the final performance of Heath Ledger. Because Ledger did not survive to complete the movie, Gilliam has enlisted Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and Jude Law to share the lead role with the departed star. Adding an extra surreal twist to the Faustian fantasy, this is sure to be one of the most talked-about films of 2009.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Transformers 2
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (June)
The inevitable sequel to last year’s surprise hit features more action, more laughs, and more shape-shifting robots. Michael Bay and Shia LeBoef return as director and star respectively with the astoundingly attractive Megan Fox as Shia’s love interest, a more international battleground and the eagerly anticipated introduction of fan favourite Soundwave.
Play This predicts: A
Inglourious Basterds (June)
Quentin Tarantino returns with an eclectic cast (Brad Pitt, Mike Myers and star of Hitcock’s The Birds Rod Taylor) and another one of his playful reinventions of 1970s genre cinema. This time he moves from the American underworld to World War 2, with a team of Jewish-American special forces operating behind German lines, terminating Nazi commanders with extreme prejudice. Anyone who likes Tarantino, war movies in the vein of The Dirty Dozen or Nazis getting their comeuppance will undoubtedly love this movie. Fans of correct spelling may be less thrilled.
Play This predicts: A
Terminator Salvation (June)
The long-awaited ‘future war’ segment of the Terminator saga, previously only hinted at in the first three movies, dominates proceedings in Charlie’s Angels director McG’s bold reawakening of the killer robot franchise. Christian Bale, fresh from his spectacular triumph as one fanboy hero in Dark Knight essays another – John Connor, charismatic leader of the anti-Skynet forces who the Terminators have been trying to eliminate for the last three films. Roland Kickinger will be the principal Terminator this because Arnold Schwarzenegger is said to be too busy running California to appear as the iconic cyborg killing machine and Anton Yelchin, Sam Worthington and Helena Bonham-Carter are along for the ride.
Play This predicts: B
Avatar (December)
James Cameron’s long-awaited high-technology blockbuster shares some basic ideas with The Surrogates (Humans use humanoid remote drones, in this case to explore an alien planet) and some with Planet 51 (we are the invaders). In terms of technological ambition and cinematic reach though, this movie should be without equal. Sigourney Weaver, who combined so well for Cameron in the past reunites with her Aliens director As long as Cameron doesn’t allow the story to become too cerebral for mainstream audiences Avatar stands a fair chance of being the biggest movie of the year.
Play This predicts: B-
Angels and Demons (Prequal to Da Vinci Code)
Angels & Demons (May)
In the wake of the Da Vinci Code, another recklessly improbable Dan Brown adventure gets the Tom Hanks treatment. Ewan McGregor comes on board this time for a breakneck chase around Vatican City in search of some antimatter, the Illuminati and a decent haircut. The critics will snigger, and Dan Brown fans (of whom there are many) will ignore them and make May one of the busiest months at the box office.
Play This predicts: A++
5: X-Men Origins: Wolverine (May)
Hugh Jackman’s back for an X-Men prequel set 17 years before the action of the first movie.The film traces the early career of Logan, the indestructible mutant who will one day be X-Man Wolverine. Cameos from future X-Men and the chance to see how Logan acquired his deadly claws and curious hairdo give the film a geek power that will set the internet buzzing ahead of the premiere. It will be interesting to see how this performs after the third X-Men movie was seen by many to be something of a mis-step in the X-franchise.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Watchmen (March)
Alan Moore’s superlative comic book finally, against the author’s will, reaches the big screen. There’s little doubt for anyone who’s read the original comic that this movie will be a huge triumph. We know the ending has been amended but every scene that’s been seen so far is slavishly faithful to Dave Gibbons’s original drawings, with just a few costume tweaks to make Nite Owl look a little less ridiculous and Silk Spectre a little bit sexier. How Watchmen will play to audiences who haven’t already been seduced by Moore’s vision of a parallel universe Cold War showdown between the members of a disbanded hero team remains to be seen. You can be sure, however, that every comic geek in the western world will see this film, and either rave about it or rail against it on the internet for evermore.
Play This predicts: B-
3: Star Trek (May)
J.J. Abrams attempts to reinvigorate the slightly tired Star Trek franchise with a story set immediately before the action of the first TV series. Winona Ryder looks set for a return to the big leagues as Amanda Grayson – Spock’s mum. British geek god Simon Pegg turns up as Scotty, and Zachary Quinto the dark presence at the heart of TV’s Heroes certainly looks the part as a young Spock. Expect tricksy time travel shenanigans, freak transporter accidents and a clever, ubiquitous and ultimately slightly annoying viral marketing campaign.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (July)
Harry Potter fans will already have a fairly good idea of what happens in this, the sixth film in the hugely popular boy wizard film adapted from JK Rowling’s all-conquering books. It was an early script draft of this film that prompted Rowling to ‘out’ Dumbledore while promoting the final Potter book.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Scary Flicks
Friday the 13th
A remake of the first one shall hopefully prove to be a classic horror film.
Play This predicts: C-
The Box
Set, apparently, in the Seventies, The Box is the story of a young married couple who are given a mysterious box that has uncanny, deadly powers. Somehow connecting time travel, the 1976 Viking Mars lander, teleportation and kipper ties. With former X-Man James Marsden, the always watchable Cameron Diaz and the sinister presence of Frank Langella it’s an intriguing prospect indeed.
Play This predicts: C+
The Birds (no release date announced)
Few details are available about this re-make of Hitchcock’s strangest movie. Naomi Watts is reputedly playing Melanie Daniels, the mischievous socialite portrayed byTippi Hedren in the 1963 film, and there’s talk of George Clooney for the role of Mitch Brenner, the smoothly irresistible lawyer who draws her to the doomed township of Bodega Bay.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Sci-Fi
Red Sonja
Although Arnold is not coming back as Conan, the creators of Grind House films is creating a offspring film of his female counterpart Red Sonja. The story line is cheesy as is and with the addition of these directors, chances are it will be worth a watch.
Play This predicts: B+
Monsters vs. Aliens (April)
A CGI mock-B-movie with a distinctly eclectic cast list – Kiefer Sutherland, Hugh Laurie, and Stephen Colbert lend their voices., Monsters v Aliens will go some of the way towards sating the enormous demand for a second Incredibles movie. Reese Witherspoon provides the voice of a young Californian woman who grows to gigantic size, after a freak meteorite encounter, and is recruited into a secret agency of super-freaks who are sent to battle a gigantic alien robot.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Coraline (May)
Cult author Neil Gaiman’s dark fairytale gets a faithful adaptation which will entrance anyone who enjoyed Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas or, indeed, anyone who has ever escaped through a secret door in their bedroom that leads to a mysterious parallel version of their own home.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
Rhona Mitra takes over from Kate Beckinsale as the female lead in the third instalment of the Vampires versus Werewolves saga. A prequel, it’s set before the birth of Beckinsale’s character, neatly sidestepping complaints about the regrettable absence of her PVC clad form. Unlikely to attract quite as many cinemagoers as its predecessor, it might still fill a dull winter’s evening.
Play This predicts: Epic Fail
Creature from the Black Lagoon
Little is known so far of this planned remake of the classic 1954 creature feature which is to be helmed by Sahara director Breck Eisner. Bill Paxton is rumoured to be leading the team, which discovers a hitherto undocumented amphibious humanoid in the depths of the South American jungle. In keeping with the current remake mania, Eisners next project is expected to be a new version of Flash Gordon.
Play This predicts: Still up in the air… could be bad ass.
The Wolf Man (April)
We’ve had modern takes on Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster and The Mummy, so it was only a matter of time before The Wolfman was disinterred for another howl around the moors. More important than star Benicio Del Toro will be the inclusion of everybody’s favourite wolfman, makeup supremo Rick Baker who provided the eye-popping transformations in American Werewolf in London and The Howling. Anthony Hopkins turns up as the unfortunate lycanthrope’s father. Art Malik and Hugo Weaving will also be along for what promises to be a dark and disturbing ride.
Play This predicts: Not enough information yet.
Filed under: General | Tagged: 2012, 3: Star Trek, Angels & Demons, Avatar, Ben Stiller Ben Stiller Night at the Museum 2, Coraline, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Dorian Gray, Fast and Furious, Friday the 13th, G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaurs, Inglourious Basterds, Monsters vs. Aliens, Nottingham, Red Sonja, S. Darko, Sherlock Holmes, Spy Hunter, Terminator Salvation, The Birds, The Box, The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, The Wolf Man, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, Watchmen | 3 Comments »
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